The classic OJ is light enough on the champagne to be part of a complete breakfast, and the pineapple isn't much better, but a much clearer cranberry option at least partially redeems the bottomless options.

Three steak-and-egg burritos yielded three wildly different proportions of steak, egg, and cheese, and a crab benedict may have been an ambitious choice. Just stick with the perfectly cromulent $12 sandwich options.

It's a businesslike experience -- we're not even sure we ever caught our server's name -- but with prompt mimosa refills continuing well beyond our two-hour limit, you won't read complaints here.

The music is loud enough to make cross-table conversation a challenge -- you'll never forget you've chosen to eat brunch at Madhatter -- but the Alice and Wonderland theme is at least a vibe, if a slightly unsettling one.